2009年10月31日 星期六

唔通叫我做甘草? - 20091031

鍾楚紅出席美容活動,說無意復出拍劇,笑道她不想做甘草。 我想,紅姑真是與時代脫節了。

首先,紅姑的潛台詞是凡演主角都是年輕的。但是,只要稍有常識,也知道老演員可當主角。西方例子不消說;就是南韓,看看爛鬼亞視現正播映的「好老婆大聯盟」,女主角福秀就師奶過師奶。在「好」劇中,年輕貌美的如璇熙,只是配角。就算思想最落後的香港,看看「富貴門」,呂良偉戚美珍通通不是後生演員,但都是主角。

還有,甘草也不是易當的。演甘草,不靠國色天香,靠角色揣摸。好的甘草,例如鮑姐,影后手到拿來;再有祥仔,巾幗梟雄,甘草成主角。所以,紅姑想演甘草,也未必是一條好甘草。你能想到紅姑以往的代表作嗎?甚麼「縱橫四海」,她也只是一個挑釁的花瓶矣。談演技,除非這十多廿年她當少奶奶時有所領悟;否則,不要盼望。

說到底,戲子便是戲子,難道你當她是知識分子?

2009年10月30日 星期五

Exorcists - 20091030

Two young ladies, one of them a 22-year-old student, and the other one an ex-model, 21 years of age, were entangled in suspected rape cases respectively. Both of them misconceived that sexual intercourse with "exorcists" could change their luck.

Even we are living in a modern city as Hong Kong, no matter nine years free education have been provided to us, still, stupidity is something could not be eradicated. Unlike most of the rape victims, the aforesaid two ladies would be compassionated by nobody.

Considered the student first. She could be convinced by a middle age lady, who was the girlfriend of the "exorcist", that she was hooked by some spirits. Naively, the victim believed that her guest could be "fucked off" by a 60-year-old uncle. A typical timid clueless chick.

The ex-model is worse, in the sense of motive and silliness. Being a young model at 19 then, she was crazy to be famous. By accepting the advice of her manager, the girl provided blow job and intercourse to the "exorcist", in the multiple of 9, for the sake of auspice. And the most weird thing was, the girl trusted the exorcist's claim that no contraceptive measure was needed, as the exorcist could "sterilize" himself by his own "spell". Naturally and scientifically, the ex-model got pregnant, after 9 trials.

Crazy. And that's why the "Police Magazine" is that everlasting. So again, life is always more unexpectable than movies.

2009年10月29日 星期四

阿加斯 - 20091029

阿加斯將出自傳,名曰 "Open"。他承認曾吸食冰毒,更向網球員協會訛稱這是意外。

其實,阿加斯不嬲唔係乖乖仔啦。有頭髮時就一頭野獸長髮;甩頭髮時就剷光頭;年輕時打溫布頓又唔著白衫 . . . 阿加斯一向是反叛者。只是,人是善忘的。阿加斯傷癒復出世界排名由三位數升回第一,和嘉芙結婚後收心養性,變成球員典範,形象開始優雅起來。

「攻心計」的香港人定必認為,阿加斯現在「放料」,想當然是希望自傳賣紙。且慢,阿加斯好像是超有錢的,他在拉斯維加斯有很多地產項目,自傳賺的錢於他好比九牛一毛。而且,阿加斯不「自爆」,也不見得有其他人會爆佢大鑊。所以,呢次真係丈八金剛,十萬個為甚麼。

其一可能是 repentance。阿加斯是教徒,教徒會告解。對非教徒而言,告解是一件怪事。先自行判斷犯了罪(是sin不是crime),再向某人告白,然後如釋重負,重獲新生。攻利人問,告解有卵用乎?但是,鬼佬重視平等。如果自覺做了虧心事,又保守秘密,便會低人一等。

Be a man,講左出黎舒服好多 . . .

2009年10月28日 星期三

NBA - 20091028

The new NBA season begins today.

Most boys love to play basketball, and being hooked to NBA. I was of no exception during my time in the secondary school. However, when I went to university, and being a business student then, most of my classmates were ladies with no interest in sports. Thus, my fervency to basketball, as well as NBA, faded out.

To me, the nowadays NBA could never be as wonderful as in the 1990's. We were lucky to witness how Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls won their 6 NBA titles. Jordan, the god of basketball, could always conjure up the clutch shots when needed. The classic one should be the winning jumper against Bryon Russell and the Utah Jazz. That magic shot, as the demarcation between heaven and hell, could still be visualized in my mind easily. By reaching the paramount of basketball, and sadly, on the other hand, Michael Jordan & Co. have been the nemesis of many outstanding players. Charles Barkley, Gary Payton and "Stockton to Marlone", are some of the prominent ones to name.

We Chinese said "五嶽歸來不看山, 黃山歸來不看嶽", after Jordan retired, NBA could never be that fabulous in the same sense. San Antonio Spurs, bear the synonym of boring, got 3 NBA titles in 2000's. Kobe Bryant, the copycat of Jordan, got 4 NBA championships in the post-Jordan era.

Having said that, NBA could still manufacture some eyes candies. During playoff, the final 2 minutes in the fourth quarter could still thicken your blood. Also, those acrobatic slam dunks could still make your jaws drop. However, highlight is enough.

2009年10月27日 星期二

阿寶 - 20091027

黃金寶以三十六歲高齡於全運會奪得公路賽單車金牌,犀飛利!瀝源邨真是地靈人傑。

阿寶當然是香港人的驕傲,母庸致疑。雖則沒有參與環法賽等職業賽;即使在亞洲,也未必勝得過哈薩克車手。但是,在2007年贏得世界場地錦標賽,阿寶是貨真價實的陀地「世界級」,絕對堅過那些甚麼鬼勞什子「紐倫港」。

那個鬼政府,除了懂得胡搞「慳電膽」外,還懂做甚麼?像阿寶攞牌,就只會公式的派那鼠相兔崽子局長祝賀,及發些獎金,聊表心意。難得香港有一個如斯正氣土炮男,形象那麼好,成就那麼高,政府就是不懂利用。至少,也可以發行「黃金寶紀念郵票」吧?另外,現在甚麼校園毒禍鬧得熱烘烘,還不打鐵趁熱,找阿寶作禁毒大使,順勢鼓勵全民踩單車,日日運動身體好?

可惜,當你看到現在極流行的摺單車在公共交通工具上受盡白眼,以及那條不知何年何月才會興建的環新界單車徑,便知道這個政府,只有魏晉南北朝之風,崇尚空談,鳩嗡多過食飯。

2009年10月26日 星期一

The Ugly Truth - 20091026

The film, though a usual love comedy, with a little twist of the prevailing value, even not starred with the A-listers, could be a big hit. With a production budget of $38M, the worldwide box office hits $180M.

Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl could not be said as the top cream. Gerard Butler, with the bear-like body shape, could at most be a handsome version Russell Crowe. Katherine Heigl, with the reminiscence of Britney Spears, is more like an X-rate star to me. Anyway, neither Billy Crystal nor Sandra Bullock is good looking, and they could be aces for comedy.

Actually, the story is just telling some common senses. No matter how the world changes or evolves, some of the characteristics of men and women are eternal constant. However, in the time of hypocrisy, people just incline to sweep the truth under the carpet. Thus, women naively believe, mistakenly, that perfect man fulfilling their "checklist" could exist. So, Gerard Butler pricked the pretence, by saying that here is America . . . or else you are a lesbian.

With a little courage to speak the truth, return to the stereotype, plus some tricks to make people laugh, we are satisfied. The standard is not that high now.

2009年10月24日 星期六

Megabox - 20091024

昨夜到 Megabox 看 The Ugly Truth。戲幾好笑,場有點怪。

Megabox 落成至今,只到過兩次,位置吊腳作怪。是夜放工,先由牛頭角乘地鐵到九龍灣,再在德福轉搭免費接駁巴士到商場,少說用了半小時。星期五晚,人流卻稀疏;食店最多,商店冷冷清清。

商場定位奇怪,店舖都是大大間的 mega stores。概念可能是效法外國 shopping mall 的運作模式,商品都如批發品,捆綁成三五件一起銷售,薄利多銷。對於鬼佬,做法可行,因他們住得遠住得獨立,一個月一次揸住架 SUV 買齊下個月糧草。所以,一次過買多些慳多些油錢。

只是,香港地小人多,商場遍地,買任何東西皆易過借火。此外,居所寸金尺土,我們不會買多餘的東西呆在家裡。更甚是,香港地有車人士皆有錢之輩,根本不須要靠批發價省錢。所以, Megabox 的概念和我們格格不入。因此,商場好像是轉形成美食廣場,至少閒日有工廠工友幫襯。

另外,Megabox 的 UA,爛的情況和元朗百老匯也不惶多讓。所以,盡可能不再去了。

2009年10月23日 星期五

Under Secretaries - 20091023‏

Yesterday CE appointed 2 under secretaries, both of them were civil servant. Lam Sui Lung said it was appropriate to appoint civil servant for the posts as the related jobs were complex.

Non sense! Eggheads inside the government could handle "complex" jobs? What a tiny dick head Mr Lam always has.

After so many low points, say, the stillborn of universal suffrage, the filibustering of cultural development of West Kowloon and more recently, the CFLs saga, the appointment was really an audacious move. With the support plunging to the trough, CE wanted to taste the guillotine by such a meaningless deployment. Maybe his legs are too painful, like his predecessor, and affects his brain's normal functioning.

Accountability was the selling point of the appointment of under secretaries and political assistants. However, the kind of "Hong Kong-style" accountability just limited to sorry bidding. As we can see, even though the political reform of Hong Kong is stagnant, Lam Sui Lung's seat is rock solid as ever.

CE said by establishing these openings, political exposure and training would be rendered to the talents. Non sense again! Donald's tenure would only be up to 2012, if he could keep his office. Who the hell could be rested assured a place under the new CE? One of the appointees, Lai Tung Kwok, was touted to be the successor of Ambrose Lee as Secretary for Security. However, if the next CE likes nobody in the existing government and replaces all of them, what could we say? Remember, the appointment of CE is only to be decided by 800 chops.

Ridiculous thought to be backed up by tax loss.

2009年10月22日 星期四

大球場 - 20091022

昨晚大球場上演亞協盃四強次回合賽事,南華輸零比一,兩回合總比數一比三負科威特競技。是夜紅旗高懸,近四萬球迷迫爆大球場支持南華,有如海市蜃樓。賽後南華班主羅傑承感動落淚,更好比鐵樹開花。

小時候,經常和老父到改建前的大球場睇波。九十年代的香港足球還堪一看。那時候東方是擂台躉 - - - 有當打的譚兆偉校炮,快翼和仔落底,加上鬼頭歷臣、譚拔士等在前線數糊,所向披靡。除了東方,南華、愉園、星島等實力亦相當不俗。因此,當年競爭異常激烈,球賽自然刺激精彩。可是,近年缺人「掟水」,沒錢羅致好外緩,球隊往往拉雜成軍,球賽變得乏味。球市門堪羅雀,入場人數屢創新低,小貓數十觀眾不是等閒事,經營慘淡不在話下。所以,對球迷而言,往後有新球場也無啥用。

改建後的大球場,我只到過一、兩次,對上一次也只是友人公司有免費波飛才勉力入場。新大球場雖則宏偉乾淨,不過無啖好食 - - - 除了「家香雞」,便是「勿當奴」。回想舊大球場,總浮現起鹵水雞脾的色香味。舊大球場氣氛熱鬧,上萬人看足球是平常事;新大球場氣氛也可以一樣熱鬧,看的卻變作欖球,而且「鬼」多過人。

因此,今趟南華創造奇蹟,「掙爆」大球場,令沙塵班主落淚,也是一個小「亮點」!只是,看到球迷們的無品表現,卻不禁心中發毛。當李海強的入球被判越位無效,即有流氓摘水樽到球場洩憤;賽後更有不少人聚集入口,抗議黑哨云云。我以為CCTVB玩野,「蒙太奇」了中國球賽片段 . . . 其實,誤判越位,家常便飯,可能粉絲餓波太久餓瘋了?

只是,球迷表現失禮,被外國人見到了,不小看我們也不行吧?儘管外國可能「只是」科威特。

2009年10月21日 星期三

Noise - 20091021

Two mainland post-graduates brawled in the hostel of CityU. The cause was suspected to be the persistent noise created by door bang.

Hong Kong is such a tiny place which millions of us have to squeeze out our everyday life. At home, we are so used to share a room with our siblings and be segregated by double-deck beds. In MTR, we pack ourselves with other commuters like a swarm of sardine. In the workplace, most of us the frontline foot soldiers could only hide behind a tiny table, or luckier in a cubicle with partitions low enough to see and be seen. Even in a park on Sunday, you would see loads of domestic helpers. Without prejudice, we are embraced by noise.

Sadly, noise is something you could never get used to and assimilate with, no matter how long you have faced it. Even worse, Chinese is a people nowadays see no importance on respect. Their selfish genes outmuscle the rest. Uneducated fathers keep on playing DVDs full of war scenes, in the reminiscence of the almighty leader Mao and the Red Army, and thus your home is full of bang! bang! bang! Uncivilized aunties just keeps on yelling to their phones, commenting the clamouring soap operas in the closed train compartments. Uncontrolled bosses impersonate Pavarotti with their room doors open. All of them are self-centred without exception.

As mankind is fallible, even the most decorum one, would break up when the tipping point is reached. Facing continuous noise, no matter Hong Kongers or Chinese, would at least talk back and more noise is thus generated. The vicious circle repeats.

2009年10月20日 星期二

自欺欺人? - 20091020

學術期刊《Science》發現,placebo 能激發病人大腦釋出安多酚(endorphins),發揮止痛效能。

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/medicine/article6877064.ece

這不是歪打正著嗎?當醫生以為藥石無靈,給你維他命c,聊以安慰;病人卻以為「勝利在望」,身體自行搞掂病痛。不過,我還是有一點懷疑。如果真是有「咁大隻夾隨街跳」,日常看病,有效藥物加上主觀願望,照理病應很快痊癒。但經驗告訴我們,事與願違的例子不少。

儘管如此,placebo 還是十分神奇的東西,更可以輕易地挑起教友與科學家的爭議。例如:

教友:你睇,科學有屁用!連腰骨痛都醫唔好 . . .
科學家:唔係醫唔好,只係唔知道 placebo 同大腦釋出 endorphins 既 mechanism 同埋 relationship。
教友:呢 d 咪 intelligent design 囉,係神既 invisible hands 令病人好番架。點石成金呀!
科學家:咁人既 defects、sin 又係 intelligent design?
教友:如果係 defects,神會 rectify。
. . .

不能解釋,只是人太渺小,能力太低,不可能全入 intelligent design 數。「神」總不能斷章取義,輸打贏要吧 ?

2009年10月19日 星期一

TV Programme - 20091019

For people who have not subscribed those paid channels, and need to stick to the fucking TVB or damning ATV, it would be very unfortunate.

Thanks to monopoly, TVB would never produce satisfactory stuff. Originality is always out of reach; even for the copycat shows, like 「超級巨聲」, the production is incomparable to the learning target. No matter MCs, participants or judges, the software just seems a bit short. Even worse, those local soap operas are simply unwatchable. Every plot is more or less the same farce, though there may be a slim difference regarding the space and time of the background. Nonetheless, the main actors would never let you down, in the nature of suckness.

ATV seems to have sheerly given up the local production. You could only watch Korean produced series at night. Though, at least, it would be more entertaining than its opponent. However, the most abominable thing is, the out-dated 「還珠格格」, already shown on Monday to Friday's afternoon, would be encored like transmigration, on Saturday and Sunday.

Luckily, we could turn to paid channels. For example, on last weekend, the "Discovery Travel & Living" provided me various entertaining shows. From "Globe Trekker", I have a glimpse of India; Anthony Bourdain would always make you giggle in his "No Reservation", though he doesn't smoke anymore in front of the camera. Want some excitements? You could always switch to the sport channels. Those high intensity tennis matches like the final between Nadal and Davydenko was ready. Of course, the English Premier League football could always serve us the usual fun.

So again, we should treasure the joy which competition brings us.

2009年10月18日 星期日

離乜譜 - 20091018

昨晚利物浦作客新特蘭輸0比1。戰果有點意外,入球方式更是出人意表。

開賽五分鐘,新特蘭的列特右路傳中。戴倫賓特,在新特蘭脫胎換骨的熱刺棄將,控下皮球,於離門十八碼左近以右腳抽射,至此一切仍然正常。奇怪的事及後出現了:當皮球正直飛龍門右下角,利物浦門將拉爾拿蓄勢以待撲救射門之際,皮球卻在小禁區,即離開龍門六碼處,彈中一個紅色的氣球。皮球因此改變飛行路線,往龍門左下方滑行,拉爾拿束手就擒。

戴倫賓特的入球,令我想到「足球小將」那些「立花兄弟」式的射門;再遠一點,還有「牛仔」漫畫。牛仔和爸爸玩射龍門,牛仔射門後球鞋飛脫,鞋的旋轉「變」出另一個皮球,令守門員爸爸不知所措。

事後大家當然聲討拉爾拿,為什麼不把氣球踏破。我沒有看這場直播,不能肯定紅軍門神有否足夠時間做此事。還是西報有內涵,翻查球例,說如皮球彈中一些場外障礙物,球證應判「drop ball」。此外,紅色氣球亦為利記小球迷所遺下,紅軍也可謂輸得不明不白。

平心而論,紅軍陣容確比上季遜色。一來失去了沙比阿朗素在中場控制節奏,二來主將如謝拉特表現失色,而加力查的退化更是明顯。因此,縱有托利斯在前線單天保至尊,可惜經常「贏埋唔夠輸」,我估計,利記將於季終跌出 Top 4。

* * *

補白:

下午由家出發,沿馬會道跑住粉嶺,至和合石,拐入大窩西支路。途經何家園、九龍坑、南華圃、圍頭村,至水圍轉到太和林村河口折返,全長約15公里,歷時1.5小時。

爽。天清朗、濕度低。山巒起伏,綠意盎然。偶有車輛經過,無傷大雅。但久疏長課,至中後段右滕赤痺,安全返家後人也散了。

2009年10月17日 星期六

Award - 20091017

Generally speaking, everybody would be welcome of being awarded, as a kind of recognition of what you have done. However, it would sometimes be a bit embarrassed, if people are endowed some of the awards, regarding its dubious reputation or nature.

The Bauhinia Medal is one of the sorts. This year, the three Grand Bauhinia Medallists (GBM) are Henry Tang, Joseph Yam and Harilela. Touted to be the most prestigious award to be earned by Hong Kongers, the awardees should be over the moon. Wait a minute, if the three of them would wonder, for a while, that who would be in the same league among them, they would find . . . 曾憲梓 . Gasp, swallow a mouth of saliva and, smile. So, a big question mark for them to put the new title in the name card.

Fred Li of the Democratic Party is awarded the lower-tier Silver Bauhinia Star (SBS). Being a member of the minority in the Legislature, it would not be uncommon to be recognized in an open society, like UK. But, in the Chinese society, the effect could be much dramatic. Comrades would think of the possibility of betrayal from Mr Li. Would he becomes, or long ago has been, the undercover of the government? It may trigger some suspicion among the easily jealous red-eyes.

So, brave enough to reject it?

2009年10月16日 星期五

游泳 - 20091016

趁冬季尚未來臨,要把握機會享受游泳。 噗!

游泳應該是我們與生俱來的技能。想想還是胚胎時,我們便在羊胎水裡載浮載沉十個月,理應練就了一副好身手。可是,善忘可能是我們基因中的一個小密碼吧,使大家一出世便把泳術遺忘得一乾二淨。

潛意識裡,人應該是喜歡游泳的。看看 Ian Wright,到不同的國家旅遊,他定必暢泳,以宗教儀式一般看待它。Ian Wright 每次下水,都很興奮,猶如返回母體。

我也喜歡游泳。家貧,當然不能幫襯「鬍鬚叔叔」習泳。因此,我是以最傳統的方式喚醒泳術的 - - - 被人踢進泳池,以掙扎式浮起。漸次,一邊看著「鬍鬚叔叔」的一群飛魚練習,一邊偷聽「鬍鬚叔叔」的訓示,自己慢慢改良泳姿。到現在,也可游數十個直池的距離鍛鍊。

變化最大的是女子的泳裝。從前,大家怕露肉,「見光死」,都愛在一件頭泳衣外加上T-shirt ,遮掩線條,不論曲直。現在,開放過籠,連傍晚城大的泳池也經常見到 bikini。其實,bikini 是方便曬太陽的裝束,屬於海灘;當然,在日光下的泳池看到它,也不為過。但在日落西山的泳池,bikini 應該讓路了。

游泳予人一種和日常生活不同的體驗。只有在水中,人才會意識到呼吸的重要。譬如游蛙式。雙手向外划開,上半身便會自然升出水面;吸入鮮氣,外划動作已老,兩掌併合,手臂向前劃動,腳往後蹬,頭已經再次沒入陰暗的水裡。呼氣吧!氣泡如一群小蝌蚪向泳鏡亂竄。別怕,再次把雙手往外撥,便能重見光明。上水吸氣和入水呼氣循環不息,生存與死亡的感覺反覆交替。慢慢地,習以為常。

2009年10月15日 星期四

Tinkering - 20091015

CE announced in the Policy Address that, in order to help conserving our environment, cash coupons would be dispensed to Hong Kongers who switch from traditional light bulbs to compact fluorescent lamps (CFLs). What a challenging task it is!

Our government is nowadays so limped that, virtually no policy could be executed. CE, a self-claimed "politician", was once so aggressive and confident that he would "show hand" regarding the topic of universal suffrage. However, being a smartie, after sniffing the objection from the Central government, CE was tamed and muted. When anyone asked him the same question later, CE would promise, though ultra vire, that universal suffrage could be realized in 2017 the earliest. Cheques bounced, promises nullified and credibility gone.

As the dream of being a real "politician" bursted, CE could only stick to the maxim "more tasks more faults, no task no fault". With no courage to dump the Policy Address, CE had to find something to fill up the puzzle. No ambition to be made, CE came up with all the small thoughts. The promotion of CFLs is en example. It is quite amusing, with that kind of tiny stuff to be listed in the address of policy level. Such an one-off promotion, in that laughable importance, dwarfed the yearly event and at the end of the day, nobody would treat it serious anymore. By the way, by rendering cash coupons for the promotion, how many trees are sacrificed and how green the policy itself could be?

Unless CE's legs, sort of, are too painful for him to stand up and give the Policy Address, there are still two more to come.

2009年10月14日 星期三

天匯 - 20091014

珠玉「名鑄」在前,黃雀「天匯」在後。座落干德道,比鄰名校網。代價?豪得起,可考慮 66樓 A室半複式,6144方呎,定價 3.577億,呎價 6.3萬;平實d,12樓 A室最啱你, 2808方呎,定價 7341萬,呎價 2.61萬。

6.3萬一呎apartment,和目前全球最貴的倫敦 One Hyde Park睇齊。荒謬程度足以列入現代《世說新語》。爾等連「望門輕嘆」的資格也未有。

明明金融海嘯未完,失業率節節上升,股市及豪宅價格卻又拾級而上。昨日晚間新聞報導,月入7萬夫的婦也不能入市,對象只是荃灣、深井樓,800呎都要500萬。

又是熱錢惹的禍。甚麼是熱錢?金融海嘯,人民銀行不斷印人仔救市,息口低借貸易。但是,經濟低迷,借了錢的人不敢做生意,惟有投資,抄股抄樓。這些本為救市而印的銀紙,變成了熱錢;熱錢拿來投機,本末倒置,便是 unintended consequence。如果又變泡沫,我們窮鬼便得再受難了。只是,股樓齊倒塌的景象未呈,我們已經要面對通脹了。鬼叫港元同美元掛勾?美元貶值,香港乜都靠入口,買隻泰國蛋都貴幾毫 . . .

「天匯」出台。 sell「天國」concept的弟兄姊妹們:距離出街抓客的時間還遠嗎?

2009年10月13日 星期二

Compatriots - 20091013

Yesterday night a Russian, Marat Safin was playing against a Chinese, M Gong, in the first round of the Shanghai ATP Masters 1000. Safin won, as expected, nonetheless not that easy, in straight sets 6-4, 6-4.

With several glances to the game, I was once again moved by the hospitality we Chinese served to our guest. Safin, "the Tsar", a 2-time grand slam champion who would retire by the end of 2009, played his last professional tennis competition in China. As the curtain was closing, I witnessed the Chinese lady fans grasped the final chance to chant for their hero, Marat. Some of the Chinese girls even exhibited the Russia flag. With that enormous backup, Safin eventually sent his opponent packed up and for a moment or two, I thought I was in Moscow.

It was so poor for Gong.

Gong, awarded a wild card to join this competition owing to nothing but his nationality, could have no chance to play the game in the same level elsewhere. Though tried his best, as the close scoreline could tell, Gong seemed to have won little claps among his compatriots.

When you watch matches held in other countries, usually fans would yell for their compatriot, even the player over the net is Federer. Surely, nobody would be so naive to misinterpret the general picture, that renowned players would still get support of the lion's share. However, being compatriots, either to patronize or else, westerners are more generous to back up the minnows of the same origin.

Though Chinese people always bicker for patriotism, the code "boost enemy's strength, dampen self morale" is still deep inside our DNA.

2009年10月12日 星期一

男子組 - 20091012

Boyzone同志主音Stephen Gately悄悄的走了。死因暫時不明。

Boyzone紅的時候,我家的YMC台正長期開放。當然,那些甚麼勞什子boy bands沒有可能是我杯茶,看YMC也不過是懶「酷」地追趕英倫音樂吧。但是,也不能不佩服那些組織 boy bands的老闆,他們心思細密,對市場分析極獨到。

Boyzone為例。真正主音,像Ronan Keating,永遠是高加索種,即是金髮白皮膚的。只有以他們當主音,既不得失白人,也拉攏了一眾東方的崇洋妹妹。至於其餘「七個小矮人」,也絕不是拉雜而成的,他們各有特色:高大健碩的、壞孩子型的、跳舞特佳的等等,視乎當時社會流行品種而定。

而Stephen Gately則是boy band必備的另一個archetype:鄰家男孩我見猶憐型。不要小看這一類人,他們最能激發女士們的母愛。當Stephen Gately高八度唱出海豚音時,女粉絲都讚嘆:「這o靚仔真犀利呀!」他是女人心目中的Oedipus。

但是,當Stephen Gately「出櫃」那天,天真的人會說他是同志鬥士。其實,最虛偽,甚至最狡猾的就是他。試想想,明知自己基,卻投考boy band,在一眾女fans面前扭屎忽花,是不是當她們羊牯?還是,這小子攻心計,為了溝仔,「不入虎穴,焉得虎子」?

無從稽考了。

2009年10月11日 星期日

Life or Dead - 20091011

Yesterday night John Higgins and Neil Robertson demonstrated how gripping snooker could be. In a best of eleven frames, down 5-3, Higgins forced to tie 5-5. In the final set, the players exchanged lead, and the winner was to be determined by the one who could pot in the final black ball. Robertson won, paradoxically, without the need to pot the black in the pocket.

Snooker was very popular in my teenager time. We naughty secondary school students would be pound to go to the billiard houses with school uniforms put on. However, except one of my classmates was a keen player of snooker, none of us could handle the difficult techniques required. By the way, the rent was way too expensive for us.

The popularity of snooker declined gradually, maybe we were too addicted to the cyber space by then? Recently, thanks to the emergence of Macro Fu, snooker was once again embraced by Hong Kongers. But, in the worldwide sense, snooker has been eking its way out. People complain that the game is too complex. They just turn to the simpler 9-Ball pool. To me, the fun between the two pool games is incomparable. In the sense of intellectuality, snooker is head and shoulder above its competitor.

True, everybody loves to watch the ball potted into the sockets. However, defence is the factor which makes snooker more intriguing than 9-Ball pool, as there is no defence at all for the latter. In the name of snooker, it explicitly speaks the importance of defence for the game. John Higgins, nicknamed "the Wizard", is the king of setting snooker. By placing the white ball sticking to the cushion, or behind the colour balls, the opponent has to unleash his creativity to save the ball. By 2 cushions, 3 cushions or even 4 cushions, together with a bit of luck, the target ball could be touched. Otherwise, the nightmare is awaiting.

Back to "the Wizard" downed to Robertson, the "Melbourne Machine". The "Melbourne Machine" had a first chance to dub the final black ball. The black ball slowly rolled towards the top right socket. However, it stopped 2 inches short. Luckily the white ball was on the opposite end. Then came "the Wizard" chance. He potted the long range shot, unfortunately, the black rattled off the pocket and stayed on the table. Higgins hoisted the white flag then.

What a gentleman game.

2009年10月10日 星期六

o靚模 - 20091010

o靚模代表周秀娜被科大邀請出席座談會,又引發一輪紅眼症。

大眼仔、染金毛、俯身露南北半球,o靚模霸佔娛樂版的現象已持續了一會兒。今天明星們星光暗淡,容祖兒比梅艷芳、古巨基比張國榮 . . . 無得比;社會弱智化,男人變晒電車男。娛樂版為了撐下去,只好以大量性感o靚模照填滿空格了事。

周秀娜紅,因為她最專業,最懂得玩弄灰色地帶。在滿足餓男方面,她除了完成指定動作 - - - 毫不吝嗇 show 身裁外,還搬弄難道系數達 3.5 的體位:拍口含牙擦滴牙膏落心口等意淫照。其他o靚模,可能礎於想像力太貧乏,又或是家教太好道德太高,只因循於一般動作。就是那一點點 spicy,令周秀娜紅過患紅眼症的姊妹們。

最令我意外的,是周秀娜口才竟然不俗。當紅眼症的姊妹們攻擊她的寫真集教壞細路時,周一句「得」埋去:我本寫真集唔係教科書!哈哈,精彩!再想一想到其他明星說話的口齒不清,如容祖兒、如 Twins 等,她們拿甚麼鳥獎,致謝時那些鳥話令你無名火起時,周秀娜的小聰明是一股清泉。

周秀娜應邀出席科大座談會,她的勇氣已經值得鼓掌。事後周被狂插沒內涵,也是一眾紅眼症可預期的神經反射。真搞笑,難道你要周秀娜跟你文化系人討論後現代如 Foucault 嗎?如果其他o靚模有幸被邀,不會「露底」嗎?周秀娜坦言自己中五畢業,墨水不足,實在是勇者無懼。

周秀娜肯定會是o靚模潮退後的 survivor。

2009年10月9日 星期五

Buffet - 20091009

Hong Kongers are so fond of buffet, a symbol of crime. It is widely recognized that buffet lovers could never be described as of good taste. Nonetheless, I could not be exempted being one of them.

We human beings are a priori fixated with food. To be one of the seven deadly sins, gluttony is the culprit of our addiction to buffet. Though we could be fed with full stomach easily in our wealthy environment, and many of our comrades are already overweight, or even worse, obese, buffet is still a perennial seduction to ordinary people.

There would never be short of choices on the buffet table. Hong Kong, always trying to clinch the international status, could do it successfully in buffet. As a smart spending people, Hong Kongers would craft out a plan before the feast starts. Seafood instead of hot stuff, sashimi instead of sushi, sirloin instead of pork . . . we have to earn back the money spent. With the colourful and varied tantalizing food waving its hands, our saliva glands squeeze more lubricant. By competing with other animals, your adrenaline surges, you become happy and start gulping anything in front of you.

Eventually, the stomach is going to burst, and our avarice is quenched, temporary. Everybody swears not to touch buffet again. But a month goes by, another table is booked.

2009年10月8日 星期四

高錕 - 20091008

「光纖之父」高錕奪諾貝爾物理學獎,套用潮語一個,「讚」!

高錕奪諾獎,香港算不上是 contributing factor。高教授於英國完成學士至博士課程,在英國公司任職時發表有關光纖論文。所以,有資格碌高教授卡的,應該是白高敦,不是曾特首。我們總不能牽強地因高錕於香港就讀中學,便搞鑼搞鼓說咱培訓出諾貝爾獎得主吧。還有,高教授持英美雙重國籍。

光纖對人類的影響是革命性的。有了它,資訊真的做到了全球互通。影像、聲音、文字 . . . 都能自由地遊走於地球每一角落,實現了「天涯若比鄰」。連獨裁者想完全封鎖消息,也變得不可能。像伊朗大選,反對派便以 Twitter 衝破了當權派的箝制。想像在沒有光纖的時代,街頭派報紙能收同效嗎?

高錕當中大校長時的風度更是令人敬佩。放下身段,於校內參加電影欣賞會,和太太於超市牽手購物,完全融入校園。在大學開放日演講,被學生搶咪抗議,高校長力排眾議,反對處罰該學生。這才是「和而不同」的身體力行!真正的教育家該當如此。反觀今天各大學的正副校長呢?不是屈服於淫審處的淫威,就是在佐敦叫雞 . . .

可惜,高錕不幸患上老人癡呆症。再次證明,好人好報是神話。

2009年10月7日 星期三

Kam Nai Wai - 20091007

刀刀 said Kam Nai Wai was the ugly version of 許紹雄. What an appropriate label it is.

許紹雄, the usual buffoon of soap opera, is already bad-looking. Kam, a middle age uncle, with receding hair and a rocky face comparable to the moon's surface, could defeat Hui easily in the sense of vulgarity. Strangely, Kam was rumored to commit affair and logically, the woman rejected him categorically. The woman, who was hired by Kam, subsequently became a victim as she suffered from dismissal.

People clamoured that Kam should quit his job of legislator, for the sake of dishonesty. To me, Kam's departure of the legislature is though a must, the cause should instead be absurdity.

It is sufficiently absurd for the classic colonial legislature to be seated by a man of such a hideous outlook. It is even more absurd for such an ugly mediocre to act as Don Juan. Men with unpleasant face could be welcomed by women, apparently if he is rich or talented will do. Sadly, Kam could never reach the threshold of these groups. Kam, to put a hand on such an effrontery, could only be backed up by an invisible hand, power. With so many failure trials to squeeze in the legislature, Kam could eventually make his successful bid only because of Martin Lee's departure. His limited ability is well understood. Unfortunately, he seemed to be anaesthetised by the power endowed. His heads, both the bigger if he got one and the smaller, being thickened by blood, were out of control and thus, he was crashed.

Please sweep this abominable bastard out to avoid making our eyes sore.

2009年10月6日 星期二

望子成龍 - 20091006

一對武漢夫婦,為 5 歲的女兒於今夏暑假報了 12 個興趣班,當中包括:幼兒英語、心算、跆拳道、游泳、鋼琴、親子班等。女兒懷疑吃不消,經常以身體撞牆,武漢夫婦嚇得要帶她去看心理醫生。

樂觀看,可能是女兒過度偏愛跆拳道,以為自己練就了一身鐵頭功、鐵布衫,故而以牆壁一試身手。如此這般,不就如願以償,望子「成龍」了嗎?

女兒自毀原因,正路當是揠苗助長失敗之果。也不明白那對武漢夫婦和女兒有甚麼大仇口,要這般折磨她。

現今香港父母和武漢夫婦的 mindset 根本一樣。他們要不是成天幻想自己的孩子是天才,就是拚命跟其他同事比較孩子。因此,小孩子不是忙著上play group,就是上興趣班。最後,每個小孩子都有兩、三個興趣班跟身,數目和保單一樣多。但是,到頭來,你又認識多少個兒童音樂家、運動家?無 . . .

最大問題是,成天忙著學這學那,父母忘記了教育小孩子最應該擁有的東西:家教。現在的細路,成天吃老麥,胖得似波;再加以勁寸咀的態度,終日諸多辯駁,實在嘔心。那些父母還以為自己好醒,生而不教不特止,還反罵好心勸導「哈哈霸」的好心人「大哈細」。就算孩子走運,學業混得過去;沒有禮貌的話,也和禽獸無異。

為了懲罰父母,應該反為他們安排12個興趣班,讓他們明白「己所不欲,勿施於人」的道理。

2009年10月5日 星期一

Autumn - 20091005

When my nose starts sneezing, which means, the signal of autumn arrival, is on.

The irritating global warming delays the coming of autumn. We used to gradually put on the deep blue cardigans from mid-September, some 10 years ago, when I was still in secondary school. Now, sleeveless shirts are still omnipresent in October. Excellent for gentleman's sight, but not as good as for the electric bills.

Though the temperature is still high, and the mercury in the thermometer could surge to as high as 32 degree Celsius in the afternoon, luckily, the descending humidity smothers the killing effect of the heat. Under the balmy sunshine, people could relax, through jogging on the road, or sunbath beside the pool.

Sometimes, thanks to the dry air, your allergic runny nose and itchy dry skin could drive you mad. However, most of the time, autumn is so cute that you just put up with its handicap, and embrace it without a second thought. Huh, like a lovely woman.

2009年10月4日 星期日

月餅 - 20091004

現在的「月餅」,90%已經不是月餅了。

變種的情況大概如是:先是「X班」平地一聲雷的創作了「冰皮月餅」。及後,雪糕店有「雪糕月餅」、朱古力店有「朱古力月餅」。總之,唔怕面紅嗌得出口既都叫得做「月餅」。其實,這些都不是月餅,只是甜餅,只是奇技淫巧。

於我而言,真正的月餅,餡料從來都是蓮蓉或豆沙,矜貴的加入咸蛋黃;不嗜甜的可以咸香的伍仁取代。至於餅皮,都是一襲經烘焗而鬆化了的黃衣。而包裝的鐵盒,多以楷書名以餅家字號,配之中國名花如牡丹之流。

對講求健康又富裕的香港人,傳統月餅又甜又膩。咬一小口,已經嚷著膽固醇超標,要生要死云云。這是忘本了。從前,我們是貧苦大眾,個個以勞動為生,日日鹹魚青菜白飯,只能憶苦思甜。中秋是大節,人月倆團圓,自要吃得好,自要吃得甜。是故,月餅是甜膩定了。

可憐時下小朋友,仇視月餅,不見冰皮、朱古力便喊苦喊忽。也活該他們現在不能享受煲蠟樂趣。

2009年10月3日 星期六

Ig Nobel prizes - 20091003

The ceremony, organized by the magazine Annals of Improbable Research, is aiming at honour achievements that "first make people laugh and then make them think".

HaHa, I just cannot stop laughing.

The winner of public health, a bra-convertible-mask, is truly genius. The traditional masks are too dull to wear. They are too clean, too rigid and too homogeneous. With this winner, we men are the definite beneficiary. By baring the freshly stripped bra on our heads, we could feel the scent and warm of our lovers. With sundry colour, lace and material, suddenly, mask becomes such a lovely gadget. In addition, the highness of bridge is coincidentally proportionate to the cup size of breast for different races and thus, the flat nose we Easterners have matches the generally available A-cup.

The hardship that the medicine winner has been suffering could also not be underestimated. Being a guinea pig himself, Donald L Unger continuously cracks his knuckles but the right hand for 60 years, in order to investigate the likeliness of arthritis by the different treatments. I mean, being a fond cracker of knuckles myself, it is of utmost difficulty to repress the seduction of cracking all the joints, for the sake of completeness. So, Mr Unger's tolerance could not be overlooked.

With the motto "勤有功,戲無益", every Chinese parents would have their brows puckered by reading this news. However, Westerners are so causal that even genuine Nobel Prize laureates attended the ceremony as presenters. So again, humour please.

2009年10月2日 星期五

波兒個海 - 20091002

報載,《崖上的波兒》的取景藍本,日本廣島縣福山市風景區革丙之浦,原有填海架橋工程。後因廣島民眾強烈要求,當地地方法院下令停止。

區區一個革丙之浦,只是一個甚麼鬼瀨戶內海的一道風景線,亦不過湊巧被那一部甚麼鳥和歌集《萬葉集》詠唱過,咁就唔俾填海?

如果日本仔官稍有國際視野,便應該立即派員香港,向林鄭月娥等發展局官員取經。講到填海經驗,香港認第二無人敢認第一。看看維港,現在才填到第三期罷了,還有第四、五期等開工。好心死日本仔自省一下,經濟已經長年衰退無出路。還不學學香港,年年十大基建,條路掘爛又鋪過。建築工人有飯開,市民有新樓新路用,雙贏啦!

廣島居民反對建橋原因是,「. . . 工程不僅改變海岸線,江戶時代的港灣設施如『常夜燈』和『雁木』等都會被大橋擋著,《崖上的波兒》裏呈現過只有退潮才外露的船舶維修廠也會受破壞 . . .」只能嘆日本人科技落後。看看香港,成棟美利樓拆左都可以係赤柱重現眼前啦。仲有,皇后碼頭拆下,變左lego咁款既「可裝嵌組件」,過幾年填完海砌番,咪又一條好漢?所以,果d乜叉「常夜燈」、「雁木」、船舶維修廠 . . . 照辦煮碗咪得囉。

無理由我地香港官就個個都係「精衛」先識填海既。仲有,你波兒個海有乜咁矜貴先?海,就緊係攞黎填架啦。

2009年10月1日 星期四

Speechless - 20091001

Today is the 60th anniversary of the establishment of New China. I am way too moved to watch from TV the extravagant celebration ceremony held in Beijing.

The Liberation Army shows off the biceps explicitly to the world. All the state-of-the-art military machinery are generously under broad day light exhibition. More importantly, the soldiers themselves present their stoic discipline by the simultaneous and synchronized movement. We Chinese are no longer "The Patient of East Asia"! Though we Chinese are militarily well equipped, as a people fond of peace, we would never bring any threat to our neighbours. The military stuff is just for exhibition only.

The proletarians give a prefect demonstration on harmony. Though with as many as 56 ethnic groups, we Chinese could get on well among brothers and sisters with different blood streams. You see, only the most harmonious comrades could work together, flashing those cardboards to build up numerous graphites with the highest complexity. The cohesiveness among we Chinese is beyond question and those rumours of riot in Urumqi could never hold water!

My father is so influenced by the grandiose pictures, his eyes are red and wet throughout the whole ceremony. I, on the contrary, giggle when I walk pass the TV and give some glances sporadically. I am happy for the awaken dragon.